


You Can't Choose What Stays and What Fades Away

by soulofair



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 01:26:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7664935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofair/pseuds/soulofair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor discovers something about Donna's past based on his present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Choose What Stays and What Fades Away

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted to FFN. I'm now going through and posting my work here as an archive. Enjoy!

_Sometime in the 1970s_

An impossibly tiny little girl squirmed around in a basket that had been left on a doorstep out in the rain. She was rather patient, but she wouldn't be that way forever. Using her powerful set of lungs, she began to wail, trying to get someone to please, pay attention to her.

Geoff Noble was sitting up, watching telly, long after his wife had gone to bed. He was exhausted. After the day he and his wife had had, there was nothing quite like watching crap telly to take his mind off of things. A noise from outside broke him out of his reverie, and he glanced over at the clock on the wall. It was just about 2:15 in the morning.

The noise came again, and Geoff was able to get a better sense of what it was. He stood up from his armchair and padded over to where he thought the noise was coming from. He pawed around for a moment and then decided that the noise was coming from somewhere else. Finally, he went to the back door and opened the door.

The little girl began to squall even louder, knowing that there was a person there who could help her. Geoff bent down and examined the child, bewildered by her presence. "Who the hell leaves a baby in the rain?" he muttered as he gathered the basket up in his arms and brought her inside.

After Geoff had removed her from the damp basket and had wrapped her in a dry blanket, he examined the little girl. She had beautiful blue eyes and a thin tuft of downy strawberry blonde hair. She reached a tiny hand up to try and grab at his face. And after the day he had had, this was strangely welcome.

Geoff and the infant spent a few minutes getting acquainted with one another before Geoff realized that he had no idea where this child came from and that he could possibly be charged for kidnapping. He knew he needed to wake Sylvia.

"Syl?" he asked quietly after he had padded to their bedroom.

Sylvia was curled up in a ball, her back facing the bedroom door. She didn't respond, so he walked around the bed to her side. "Sylvia… wake up," he muttered.

She groaned in her sleep and batted at him. Geoff moved quickly to keep her hand away from the baby, who he was holding awkwardly against his chest. It took the small noise that the baby made for Sylvia to wake up. "What the hell was that?" she exclaimed as she sat up.

Geoff turned on the light and stood, staring at his wife helplessly. "Someone left her on the doorstep."

"Geoff… that's stupid, and you're horrible for taunting me like that," Sylvia hissed.

Geoff sighed and shook his head. "I'm serious. Come downstairs and you'll see the basket she was in. Poor thing was out in the rain for who knows how long."

Sylvia eyed the infant warily. She couldn't see much of the child, seeing as how her husband had bundled the baby and was holding her close to him, but she could tell that the baby was a good size and was comfortable being with Geoff. "It's a sick joke, Geoff."

"I know, but I don't think it's a joke, Syl."

"What makes you think that?"

"There was a note."

"A note?" she echoed.

"Someone left a note with her, saying 'It's always darkest before the dawn. Her name is Donna, she's yours."

Sylvia scoffed. "We lost our baby today, Geoff. I can assure you, she's not ours."

"Maybe not biologically, but if everything checks out, I'd like to keep her."

Sylvia blinked at him and carefully got out of the bed. She followed Geoff and the baby down to the kitchen and read the note. After sitting quietly at the kitchen table for a few minutes, she finally reached out to take the baby. "Donna, huh?" Sylvia murmured as she examined the child.

"Donna. Good name. Donna Noble."

"Donna Noble," Sylvia agreed.

* * *

_Late 2013_

Rory Williams-Pond sat in the doorway of the TARDIS, his legs dangling out over the infinite expanse of the universe. River and the Doctor stood away from him, hiding beneath the console, conducting a semi-private conversation in hushed tones. "Are you taking him home?" River asked her husband.

The Doctor hesitated. "If he wants to go, he can."

River nodded quietly. "Do you want me to go talk to him?"

"If you want. I don't know what you would say…"

"Let me figure that out, Sweetie," she murmured as she kissed his temple.

She stood up and walked up the stairs to the console level. As she spoke with her father, the Doctor slipped away, retreating to one of his seldom-visited private rooms. He avoided the room that he shared with River, instead heading to the study that the TARDIS was always good at keeping the companions away from. He locked himself into the room and let out an enormous sob. He sank to the ground and pounded his fists into the thick Persian rug, releasing a violent cry. Another companion, lost at his hands.

Hours later, he emerged from the study and searched for River and her father. He was surprised to find that River had landed the TARDIS in the garden of Rory and Amy's home. When he emerged from the time machine, he found River sitting at the table where she and Amy had had many glasses of wine while discussing their adventures with the Doctor. She had never looked so small in the time he had known her.

"How is he?"

"To be expected," she answered flatly. "You will want to go talk to him though."

"Of course," the Doctor agreed quietly before heading into the house.

The inside of the house was to be expected; it was the home of a young married couple. The kitchen was tidy, but there were remnants of living: bread on the counter, a hand towel by the side of the sink, sugar bowl near the kettle in the middle of the counter. It was apparent that the Ponds had paused their normal lives as soon as the Doctor had arrived for their adventure.

As he moved further into the house, the Doctor noticed something a little different. There were pink things all over the room: soft fuzzy toys, blankets, and a baby carrier. Upstairs, the Doctor could hear a baby's cry and Rory's efforts to calm a child down. "Rory?"

The Doctor sprinted up the stairs to find Rory and an infant. "What?" the Doctor squeaked.

Rory turned around and saw the Doctor. "It's been a while since you were here. Amy and I were busy."

"I can tell…" the Doctor replied slowly.

He stepped forward towards Rory but maintained enough space between Rory and himself. Almost as if on cue, the baby turned to look at the Doctor with her beautiful blue eyes, and the Doctor took a small step back. He knew this child, and not because he knew her parents. He knew this child when she was older.

"What's her name?" he asked, even though he knew exactly what her name was.

"Donna," Rory sighed as he patted the baby's back. "Donna Agatha Williams… or Pond."

The Doctor smiled. "Donna."

He hadn't the slightest idea how the impossibly tiny Donna Noble—the very same person who would grow up to be the most important woman in the universe—had ended up in the home of the Ponds, but he was sure there was a very logical explanation. "How old is she?"

"A month and a half."

"She's quite alert for her age."

"Amy thinks she'll be a genius."

"Oh, I have no doubt," the Doctor agreed warmly. "May I hold her?"

Rory eyed the Doctor warily before handing his daughter over. He stepped back and watched as the Doctor introduced himself to his soon-to-be redheaded daughter, wondering how he'd cope with an infant. "How will I do it?" he wondered aloud.

The Doctor glanced up from Donna. "Do what?"

"Raise her? I can't raise her on my own."

"Loads of people raise children on their own," the Doctor countered rather insensitively.

Rory sat down in the rocking chair and cried.

A few hours later, the Doctor found River cradling her younger sister. "Did Amy tell you about the baby?"

River glanced up from the bundle. "She said something in passing. I think she wanted to talk more about it, but considering you came and swept me away shortly after she brought it up, and the next time I saw her was during the attack, which was after she'd had the baby. Donna was with our grandmother," River explained.

The Doctor nodded sadly. "You know," he began slowly, "I know her. In the future, I mean. She'll be one of my companions in her future."

River seemed confused by this. "How?"

"Chance. She'll be the most important woman in the universe," he explained, a small smile ghosting on his face.

He didn't say more, at the risk of spoiling something from River's future. He now understood why she, when they first met, had been so surprised to see Donna at the Library. Donna was her little sister. And the more he thought of it, he knew it made sense that Donna was Amy's daughter. Those Pond girls… they knew how to break his heart.

Rory stormed into the room, luggage crashing around as he did. "Where are you going, Dad?" River asked worriedly.

"I'm leaving. I can't stay here anymore. I'm… just leaving."

"What about Donna?" River squawked as she stood up, trying not to jostle the baby.

Rory stopped. "I can't… I can't do this. Doctor, I trust you. Just take care of her."

"Dad!" River exclaimed. "You can't just abandon her!"

Donna opened her eyes and stared at River with a startled expression. The Doctor took the baby from River, hoping to prevent a screaming fit from Donna. Rory grimaced and blinked back tears. He wasn't sure what to do with his life anymore, but he knew that he couldn't bear this anymore. Donna would be better with the Doctor. He would know how to protect her. Amy's death hadn't been the Doctor's fault. Rory knew that his girls would be safe with the Doctor, and worse case, River would make sure that Donna was safe.

"River, I have to get away from this life. Get away from the past. As long as she is with me, Donna is not safe."

"How do you figure?"

"You saw what happened to your mother!" Rory roared.

River glanced back at the Doctor for some support. He cleared his throat. "Rory, it wasn't your fault. The circumstances were far beyond anything any of us could control."

Rory shook his head and wiped away the gathering tears from his eyes. "I can't lose someone else, so I'm giving her up. I'm giving everything up so I can lose things and people on my own terms, not the terms of the universe. Please, Doctor… please."

A moment passed; River and the Doctor stood, staring at Rory before he bent down and gathered up his belongings and marched out of the house without as much as a goodbye to any of them. The Doctor's breathing became uneasy and he handed Donna over to River before he followed Rory out of the house. "She's your daughter. They both are!" he bellowed.

Rory slammed down the hood of the boot of his car. "My wife is dead, Doctor. And don't believe that I don't love my daughters, but I can't do this without Amy. I'll be a rubbish father. I couldn't protect my wife. What makes you think I could protect them?"

River stood on the front doorstep, clutching onto Donna as much as she wish that she could clutch onto both of her parents. The little girl didn't appear to be in any sort of pain. "Dad… at least say goodbye… give us some sort of an explanation we could give her when she's older…."

River's plea appeared to have the desired effect. Rory hesitated, but eventually, he approached River and Donna, placing a kiss on each of their foreheads. "Be good, be strong, and most of all, be brave," he instructed. "Take care of her, River. I mean it. Promise you will take care of her."

"Of course," River murmured.

Rory nodded curtly and glanced down at Donna, who was staring at him with eyes that weren't quite blue or brown or any sort of color. He hoped that she'd grow into an eye color at some point. "Donna Pond… you be a good girl. Your mum and I love you very much, and I promise, I will find you someday when you are older. I love you. And I am so sorry."

Rory backed away and quickly retreated to his car. The engine started, and then he was off, likely never to return again.

River breathed deeply, watching as the car peeled off down the street. "What do we do?" she asked the Doctor.

"We care for her," he responded as he brushed past her on his way back into the house.

She followed him. "How do we care for her?" River asked him.

"A few friends of mine. Well… they're not really friends, but they're important. Her parents."

"Her parents?"

"I know Donna as Donna Noble. I need to figure out how she went from being Donna Pond to Donna Noble."

"You put her up for adoption."

"That's probably how it happened."

"You give my sister away."

"It would appear as though that is the case."

River was dismayed by the thought of giving her closest relative away. She had never seen herself as the maternal sort, but this was her sister, the only remnant of her mother that she had. But if the Doctor knew her as someone else, someone who had been adopted, maybe this was the best thing for her. A baby in the TARDIS? One child in the TARDIS was enough for River, who had her hands full with the Doctor and is antics.

Two days later, River and the Doctor stood on the corner of a street in a quiet neighborhood in Chiswick. Even though it was several decades earlier than the last time the Doctor had been there, the neighborhood looked virtually the same, if not a little newer. It was pouring rain. "She's going to get soaked," River grumbled.

"I'm afraid that will be the case. But this is the best time to do this. There isn't any other time when this would work."

"Well, is there some way you can keep her dry?"

"I can see what I can do."

River carried the Moses basket to the doorstep and as quietly as possible, set it down on the doorstep underneath an overhang. The Doctor had made sure that the blankets were as impermeable to water as possible, explaining that they would still get wet after a while but Donna would remain dry.

Before she stepped away from the basket, River placed a kiss on Donna's forehead. "Be a good girl, Donna. He'll find you again in the future, I promise. I love you," River whispered as she brushed the little girl's cheeks and tried not to cry.

Donna blinked at her older sister and tried to grab at some of River's many curls. She wasn't old enough to be at all aware of the depth of the situation, but somehow, River knew that the infant did understand. Based on what the Doctor had told her—which, admittedly, had been quite little—River knew that this little girl had quite a big life ahead of her. Donna's future was painted in those very young eyes.

One last kiss, and River was off. "Now, be good Donna. Please be good. I hope to see you when you're older. I love you," she whispered as she quietly tiptoed away.

The Doctor was standing at the TARDIS, waiting for River. "How is she?"

"Falling asleep, I hope," River answered morosely.

"She has a bright future ahead of her," the Doctor assured his wife.

"I know. I'd just prefer it if things didn't have to go this way."

"Of course. This is our burden."

River turned away from the Doctor. "I'm going to go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night," the Doctor replied.

After he was certain that she was out and far away from the console room, he flipped a few levers, making sure that the brakes weren't on so they wouldn't make any noise as they left. Before he flipped the last lever, he froze, remembering something vital that neither he nor River had done.

The Doctor fumbled around, looking for a pad of paper. When he found it, he scrawled a quick note to the Nobles. Without a moment's haste, he dashed out into the rain and left the note in the basket. "Donna Noble. The most important woman in the universe. Have a beautiful life, you remarkable little thing," he murmured before he stepped away.

With the departure of the TARDIS, the life of Donna Noble began.


End file.
